I am a man and I have been married for 2 years but all of a sudden I am beginning to feel sexual attraction for men, please help
Dr. Kedar Tilwe, an Indian Psychiatrist has shared a message he had from a man who has been married for two years but suddenly craving for sexual fantasies with other men.
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Hi, I am a 32-year-old man working in a very reputed organization. I have been married for two years. Recently, there has been a very disturbing situation in my life. A 22-year-old man has joined our team as an intern and from the day I saw him I had experienced a very awkward feeling.
It’s very difficult to describe but I could feel something stirring inside me. I find everything about him—the way he dresses, the cologne he wears, and even the way her talks—very intoxicating. I was so disturbed at these thoughts that I started avoiding him and on a few occasions, I treated him very rudely. One day he said he is very offended by my rude behavior and wanted to have a one-on-one meeting with me to discuss to sort out issues if there is any.
That was the first time I was in such proximity to him as we sat face to face with just two feet of distance between us. It was then I realized that I was getting an erection. And I believe he noticed my awkwardness too. I excused myself and went to the bathroom for relief. Since then he has been behaving very warmly and never misses an opportunity to shake hands with me. I am really confused. What’s happening with me? Am I gay? Is my colleague sending signals to me? Please help me. —By Anonymous
Dr. Kedar Tilwe has responded to him. Read his response below:
Response by Dr. Kedar Tilwe: We can develop infatuations for various persons at varying points in our lives. And almost always these can make us feel, as you put it, ‘awkward’, ‘intoxicating’ and ‘disturbed’. You may also seem to experience a sense of weakness and helplessness when you are around that person, and this may cause you to be unfairly curt with them.
Some people with bi-sexual orientation tend to develop feelings for both men and women, so if you have that orientation this is quite a natural way to feel for you. You have mentioned that you are married for two years now and I am assuming that it’s a happy marriage. So my suggestion is to focus and recommit to your married life and rekindling the spark of romance with your wife, as any extramarital affair, even a purely platonic relationship is bound to disturb what you have built with your wife over the past two years.
If you find yourself still distracted or worried about this, reach out to a mental health professional near you, they will be happy to discuss specifics and help guide you on the way forward.